i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
