So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
