Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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