And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
