4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
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