pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
