fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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