We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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