is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
