How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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