I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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