I'm lost and stupid without you.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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