You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
