what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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