I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
