I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
