hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
