dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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