do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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