i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
