I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
