Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
either way he was missing a nipple.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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