he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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