This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
