And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
