Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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