I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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