then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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