i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
