Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
