Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
