weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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