Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
