It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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