Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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