alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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