I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize