Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
