Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize