What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
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