Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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