And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
