now i know why i became what i already was.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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