careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
