How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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