he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
