Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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