i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
