so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
