Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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