Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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