I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
