Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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