Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
