So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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