just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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