Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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