I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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