The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
