Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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