So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think I sprained my soul last night
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
