Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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