If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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