I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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