ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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