I'm so fucking centered right now
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
